Hi, It's been five days since my last confession

I am still pondering on the thought of once a co-dependent, always a co-dependent. I have been thinking of the Addiction Anonymous organizations. I have actually attended a few sessions here and there for different ones but was never ever able to feel like that was for me.

I remember as a child going through catechism school and how they taught us about confession. That's where I came up with this title - memories of confessing my many sins to this man in a box. I really thought that I was an awful sinner back then. Boy was I naive. I had no clue about life. But again, I didn't feel that this was what was my direction. I remember the sister/teacher telling me that I had to pray to my patron saint. She said that Saint Nicholas was my patron saint because that was the saint of children. I just couldn't figure out why I had to pray to a saint that would then go to the other of Jesus to talk about my requests. Mary would then talk to Jesus about my problems and Jesus would finally take my request to the Father who would then make a decision and let Jesus know to tell Mary to tell my patron saint to tell me the answer of my petition. I really thought that was a lot of extra work and decided to skip the middle man and go straight to the man in charge. It seemed to make sense to this little seven year old girl. I thought if I wanted something from my dad, I would ask my dad. If I wanted something from my Nana, I would ask her. Why not talk to the Creator of the world.

To this day, I feel that I have a direct line to God; although for many years through my own history, I feel that it has wavered. My love for God did not waiver, but my belief that we can petition Him directly instead of going through the chain of command.

I understand the chain of command and at work I will talk to my direct supervisor before I go above his head. If I have a problem with someone, I will go to them first before the supervisor. But I think where God is concerned, He is our direct link.