I saw it in her eyes
She had no more will to live
It seems it always ends this way
when you give more than you have to give
If there was just some way
that I could reach them all
I want so much to help
How can I hear their call?
She tried to tell just how things were
She showed it through her eyes
Now her hell on earth is over
to never see brighter days.
I wrote this in January of 1986.
There are so many people out there that are fighting the same battle today that I fought for so many years. I remember days that were so dark that all I wanted was to die because it hurt so much. Then there were the good days that followed after the painful days. Where things were wonderful and peaceful. He would give me gifts and treat me like a new bride. Then life would happen. The bills would come due with not enough to pay them. Kids would need things and we would have to choose between this or that. Eventually the pressure got more difficult to bear and the cycle would start again. Each cycle increases with intensity as the cycle phases grow closer together.
Intermittent reinforcement. That's what it's called....those wonderful times that follow the pain. That's how one gets sucked in. We used to do that to the rats in Experimental Psychology--remember Jody the white rat.
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