I think back to our three decade relationship and try to find the warning signs. Some of the most recent signs were when the relationship was coming to an end. It was not until there was a source of attention that these signs started showing, but when they did show up, the end was very near.
He gave us less of his attention and became very cold and distant. Often when we went out for dinner, he was on his phone either texting or on social media.
We started to irritate him even with the activities that we once enjoyed. Our costal drives and talks now became silent and often just disagreements and fighting.
We were never good enough. Everything we did was criticized.
He was bored and had no problem displaying how boring we were to him.
We were always walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Our opinions did not matter. Whatever we said was uneducated. It was his idea or no idea.
He would respond to our comments with questions, refusing to acknowledge anything or answer any questions.
He would walk out of our lives and refuse to talk to us for days on end. One of the kids when very young use to count how many weeks it had been since their dad talked to them.
He projected everything he did onto us. We were told we didn't care, that we were not listening to him, that we had turned others against him.
If you see the warning signs then plan your exit. What can you lose out of being prepared? If things actually work out, which I tend to doubt, then you are more independent. If you get out, then you will be glad you had a plan. Without the plan, where would we be?