Wednesday, July 5, 2017

What can happen if you stand up to him?

Fear is different for everyone but the narcissist's fear is not the same. They are not necessarily afraid of you unless you have some evidence to be able to prove your side of the story. If you have been controlled by someone for a while and then finally stand up for yourself, they may react as the victim now. This is only another way of controlling the situation. They have pushed you until they have a reaction and now they can play the victim and project everything on you. 
Getting you to react was the goal, as now they can play victim of the big, bad wolf. Again, they do not fear you when you stand up to them unless you have information that will support your claims. They are generally confident and like a big upset bear, but when faced with direct confrontation, they can crumble and it becomes a game to destroy the victim with talking about them, lying to others about them, projecting what they did to their victim as though they were the one that received the abuse.
Run from them and absolutely - Go no contact. If you have no contact then you will take away the fuel that they will have to use against you. 

Do not engage with them unless you have hard evidence. The only thing this type of person fears is being exposed. They don't fear you, they fear that people may believe you. When you talk to people, they don't want to hear the cold facts, they are listening to the sob, emotional story. So really it is a mistake to talk to others about your controller unless you are willing to go through the court system and that is emotionally draining. 

An attorney told me recently that they are representing more and more cases that involve a narcissist. I asked if these situations were becoming more known or if there were truly more incidents out there. The response was that there appears to be more narcissists out there and that we have a generation of entitled people out there that has helped to develop these people. 

This type of person is not going to fear you for standing up to them. They do not feel in the same way that we would expect them to feel. They are more concerned with their supply, their next fix. Just like a drug, that is what controls their actions.  Get free of them as soon as you can and move on.

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